How Not to Talk to Someone That Doesn’t Want Help (Newsletter No. 17)
We can't dish it if the door's closed right. Then you're just a Jehovah’s Witness or door to door salesman
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Friend A is Playing Two Sides
He was at once like this little baby student, posturing as a teacher, he went in strong like so excited about this "thing" he just learned from his self-help books or Eckart Tolle. And then he sorta gave up and is like ok can you just do it. Just get your life together.
He's like an old school baba uncle. Concerned, but not sure how to be empathetic. Like just wants to check in because he's looking at the report and it's not looking good but doesn’t understand the "journey" that got Friend B to where he is now. Depressed and frozen in place. Like can't you just get better grades or work harder lol.
Friend B is This Weird Combo of High EQ but Doesn't Give a Shit
He's funny and charming but then has this dark side because he knows the answers but doesn't care.
He knew exactly what Friend A was doing, and was almost meta about it. Not only did he know what Friend was trying to do to him, he knew that Friend A was posturing himself and putting up a front, that Friend A has his own demons he's not talking about.
So the dynamic would switch from baba talking to son, to little kid messing with a dragon.
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Doesn't matter how good the advice is.
You need to find a way to be on the same level, dimension, plane, as the person you’re trying to help. Overcome the differences of mood, income, height, age, race, gender, creed, etc.